Too often do I go through my life of going through the motions and going full speed through each day. I remember the days where I really just stopped to take a look around me and take advantage of the small things in life that are amazing. These past 5 days where just that. Time to just relax, enjoy the people around me, be in a new place, and be thankful for the small things in life. It felt good to get excited over the little things in life again. And not only that, but to have someone there by your side to be excited with you and not think you’re a big fat dork because you’re excited about seeing the huge fields of corn for the first time.

Lincoln, Nebraska isn’t most people’s idea of fun apparently. They say to me “What’s in Nebraska that’s worth going for?” or “What a boring place to even think about going” I would have to disagree. I strongly believe that people make all the difference in this life. You could live in the coolest place in the world and it could not be worth it if you don’t have the community, fellowship, and love of the people around you. I was able to meet some really remarkable people in this misjudged area of the United States. Bryson introduced me to a BUNCH of new people. After the overwhelming feelings wore off I was able to have an excellent time. His family was... how do I explain them, they’re so fun to be around. Their conversations are so bizarre and off the wall and it made me so happy! I truly felt like I actually belonged there. Mostly because they reminded me of my very own family. It was comforting. Then on to his friends. They’re just phenomenal! Mostly two of his best friends Michael and Doug. They had no problem treating me like they’ve known me forever and they’re HIL-arious! By day 4, Bryson had started referring to his friends as “our friends”. Maybe because I fit in so well with them, or at least, that’s what I thought.

They all had big impacts on me even though I was only in town for 5 days. But even other random people had such an impact in some way. Michael’s mom was so great! (We hung out there a lot). She baby-sits during the day and once while we were there she had a little 4 year old boy there. I apparently sat in his spot on the couch while they were watching a movie, so he didn’t like me at first. But after about 10 minutes he decided I was okay and asked to sit with me. It was so sweet. :) Then there was Bryson’s theater director who he’s told everything about us to. She was so excited to finally meet me and was SO happy! When I hugged her good-bye she whispered something in my ear that was so encouraging and really just helped me realized that we could actually get through this. It was an incredible moment. It’s the little things that people say or do that just get you through the day. I don’t know if people step back to realize the small parts people might play in their lives but the big impact they make as well.

The people were great, but I must say that I had a lot of firsts on this trip that made me love that place. Corn.... I made him run through the corn fields outside his house with me. He lives in the country, and has TONS of land. He has a corn field that his neighbors actually farm. The running in the corn lasted only about 10 strides because I wasn’t a fan of being slapped in the face by the stocks. The sunsets were pink! Full of bright pink fading into oranges and reds, it was the most breathtaking sunsets I’ve seen. And then seeing the sun turn blood red as it falls beyond the horizon! One night we were playing frisbee in the backyard with his friends and all of the sudden... I saw flickers of lights in the distances, I FINALLY got to see fireflies!!!!! It was magical!! I basically bounced around with excitement like a little 5 year old, but who cares!!! Bryson’s family also has 2 horses, who was beautiful!! I’ve always been so scared of those animals, but I actually got up on one of them! Of course, his sister was leading me around on a horse leash, and I was only going in circles, but it was still a moment I don’t think I’ll forget. And don’t forget about this full moon, which was bright orange and lit up the land in all it’s darkness.

Then there’s Bryson himself. It really is just too overwhelming to talk about it all. He’s just a magnificent guy. Not many people have the ability to calm me down when I get crazy and not many people have this way to make me get out my feelings in a way that makes sense to them. And being able to share my spiritual life with him is so amazing to me. It really is just too much to talk about. And people might get made for keeping that part to myself, but it’s a part of my life that I’d like to keep for myself at times. Not because I’m ashamed or I’m trying to hide something, it’s just something I like to keep for myself. If that makes any sense.

Above all I’m beginning to see how much I need to trust God and lean on him through all of this. If it were up to me I would pick up and follow Bryson to the ends of the earth right now. But I see that it’s not that time right now, and timing is everything! And it sucks beyond all belief leaving Bryson, his home, his family, his friends and coming back home, but that’s life for you and I just have to take it one step at a time. But I HAVE to trust that God’s plans are so much better than anything I could ever come up with. One of my lady friends from church told me to take God with me on this trip and that He would be there to get me through meeting the family and friends and to take my nervousness away. It was a very impactful statement that I really took to heart.

The End.

All hail the last day of school. What a trip this year has been. I don't even know where to begin. I've been stretched, beaten, pulled, pushed, and throw into anything and everything for the past 7 1/2 months. Starting with Student Teaching in 5th grade math in January to 3rd grade for a couple weeks and 4th grade for a few days in the middle to the end of the year where I was in 2nd grade in August. Right now I feel indescribable. Like this huge load has been taken off of me. At least for 2 weeks.

I'm sure I've talked about my story, but here it goes again. I still remember the day I entered the doors of Judith Steele Elementary full of anxiety and... well that's pretty much the only feeling I had that morning. When I learned I was in 5th grade but I would only be teaching math I remember wondering if that would help or hinder my experience. But I decided to stick with it. Turns out it was the best thing that could happen to me. My student teaching experience felt like it was unique and perhaps even more difficult than maybe some other people might have gone through. Besides the fact that I was full time after about a month and in the classroom by myself most of the time, there was so much that happened during those months.

It happened on my birthday, April 29th. We told the students that our writing teacher had been in a car wreck 2 weeks before and was in bad shape, was still in the hospital, and was not coming back this year. This was also the first I had heard of it. 175 crying students is too much to handle, especially when you have to hold it together for the sake of the kids. But through this horrible incident came... me. I had been asked to take over his class for the rest of the year... until July 17th. We decided to tell the kids on my last day of student teaching, somehow we kept it a secret for about a week and a half. We told them in the morning after announcements. It's a moment I won't ever forget. They all crowded around and our math teacher as she told them we had found their new teacher, and I was standing there with kids crawling all over me waiting to hear who it would be... there was a dramatic pause.... and then she said "Misssss Thomasssss!" And there was a flood of screams and kids rushing to me.

So here I am, in a classroom that was someone else's but would become mine for the next 2 months. I decided to make it my own and kill myself over making it pretty and decorated. Nervous that the kids would hate me for changing his room I was surprised at how excited they were over all the colors and Star Wars figures on my desk and Kung Fu Panda poster hanging over my desk. It was nice. These 175 kids are a bunch that I will never forget. There are a few that I would LOVE to see in the future and many that I would be ok just wondering about once and a while. I never thought I would have gotten that close to a group of 10 and 11 year olds. But it was SUCH a great experience to go through. I was in charge of decorations for the 5th grade dance and they turned out amazing! I appreciated how the teachers treated me like a teacher as did the rest of the staff. It was really hard to say good-bye to the kids.

Then I was off to long-term sub for 2nd grade for the last 2 weeks of school. I'll blame it on the fact that it was the end of the year... but it was absolute hell. Little 2nd graders can be cute, but really? They were CRAZY! I was never happy to get up and go to this class every day. Which makes me sad, maybe I didn't try hard enough. Or maybe I just do not have the personality for smaller kids. But the end is here and I can honestly say I do not miss those 2nd graders.

So what's next for this fresh outta college girl? Well, I'm staying here at Steele and I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing. I'll be their "in house sub" and fill in when needed. I don't really know the details AT ALL, but I was looking at the teacher's boxes in the teacher's lounge and I saw one with "Thomas" on it!!! And assuming they haven't hired a new teacher with that last name, I'm assuming it's ME! I feel good about this arrangement. I think this past 7 months was crazy and it'll be good to kinda ease myself into teaching. And I've been thinking about teaching 6th grade math! So we'll see what happens. :)

Dobby Mobby Obby

Pronounced Dob-bee (Like Bobby with a D) not Dooooo-bee.


The little Dobby trying to sleep!
Then interrupted by the Goat... so of course he has to attack back.
And of course the Dobby wins. At least when he's in my room, he's very territorial.


awww He's so cute! And he's getting very big! Mostly I just cannot wait until we get the little booger declawed! Then I'll love him even more!

And today is the glorious day I've been waiting for.... my LAST day at Origins!!! Thank the Lord! :)

Tried to run but I keep on coming back

I decided to re-read my whole blog today. It was pretty deep for a blog! I don't know why I haven't been writing on here much anymore. Maybe because I don't even know how I'm feeling myself. Well, actually I kind of do... but where to start?

I was reading all my feelings on Morocco and it was strange to me. The girl who interviewed me is my friend on Facebook and she had some pictures of the new team she's training to go over there. I was looking at the people wondering if I would have gotten along with them and who would have been the closest to me. But I had to stop myself from thinking about that because it's just not healthy. I mean, I'm happy I'm staying here. I'm involved with the youth group again and I just feel like I can do great things here this year to glorify God. I think about how let down I was when I found out I wasn't going. Feeling so sure of myself and sure of the fact that I thought this was what God wanted for me and then it turned out to not be. Really it made me scared to trust him for the fear of feeling like that again. The only example I can think of there is my relationship with Bryson. I'm scared to feel like this is what God wants, because if it's not that's going to totally suck. But what I came to a conclusion on is that if it is what God wants if going to be GREAT! And if it's not and he has something better out there for me then whatever else is out there must be even greater! So either way I guess I'll be happy in the end right?

When I was in 1st grade my 3 best friends moved away in the time frame of 3 months. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I'm so drawn to friends who don't live where I am; because I've been so use to having my friends far away. Because really, so many of my closest friends don't live here so who do I call to just hang out?! And then there's Hannah who's been the best friend I could ever ask for and she's leaving too. I think this year I haven't really branched out as much as I could. Maybe it's the new job and just not wanting to do anything after work. I just don't like hanging out with people in large groups. I would much rather sit around with one or two friends then attempt to make conversation with people I see only once and I while. And yes, it's my own fault for not trying hard enough but I'm really just not into it anymore. And maybe that makes me a horrible person... but whatever, there it is.

At camp this year we took the personality test like normal and apparently my personality has changed. I do feel like I've changed. In some parts of my life for the worse, but in some for the best. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I don't even recognize myself anymore. I think it all boils down to the fact that I just really don't want to start life outside of going to school. It's finally hitting me that I graduated and don't have that part of my life anymore.... and now I have to grow up. Bryson has a way of helping me sort out my thoughts. It's kinda crazy actually. But right now I just feel like there are too many thoughts going through my head, and I just can't find contentment.

Feminists cry foul over Fat Princess

I found this incredibly amussing!

She's plump, powerful and ready to cause more controversy than "SuperSize Me."
She's Fat Princess, the star of Sony's upcoming video game of the same name. Debuting at last week's E3 expo, the colorful Fat Princess is a capture-the-flag game with a twist: you can thwart capture attempts by locking the once-thin princess in a dungeon and stuffing her full of cake, thereby increasing her girth and making her harder for your enemies to haul back to home base.
According to popular gaming blog Joystiq, two feminist gaming sites have already voiced their displeasure with the weighty issue.

Feminist Gamer's "Mighty Ponygirl" rings in diplomatically, suggesting a new way to play the game altogether.
"Instead of running out into the forest to find cake to fatten up the princess with, why not go out and find gold (which is a lot heavier than cake) to stuff into a treasure chest. The more gold in the chest, the heavier it would be, and the harder it would be to carry," she said, before adding, "Oh, but that's not as "cute" as cake and fat chicks. Right."

A Little Surprise!

Last night I get a phone call from brother bear Kevin telling me he was walking to the mailbox where he lives and all of the sudden this rat looking thing ran across the road. Little did he know it was a small, teeny tiny white kitten he saw. So Mitchi and he caught the kitten and washed it up and fed it. So at 10:45 he tells me to come down to see it, so I did! 

I ended up taking the little booger home with me!!!! Now, Goat does not like other cats, so I have to keep my little precious in my room till I leave. But the cat was crying ALL NIGHT LONG! So far tonight he/she is doing much better. Sleeping in our kitty tent which has been passed around from the White Cat, the Black Cat, Goat, and now on to one who actually uses it. 

Now... for a name. Kevin wants to name it Falcore, I said Blue Cheese because of it's big blue eyes and resemblance of cheese, Mitchi said Lamb or Sheep since we already have a goat and Jasmine agreed by saying... "ya it's very sheepish" (referring to the fact it was very scared and shy... haha Jas) 

I'll settle on a name soon. But for now here's a couple pictures of our new cuteness. 

Love is dying to yourself

I've been having a hard time this past week. Mostly the normal stuff I've been struggling with.... what does God want me to do in my life and where. But I'm starting to see the light. It's a good feeling being able to come back to God and actually have that relationship with him that I've been missing for a while now. 

Tonight we had our summer bible study on Spiritual Mothering, basically mentoring. I love the women in our church because I can hang out with a group of ladies older than myself and be accepted. They don't make me feel awkward for being young and single when they are all married with children. I just love listening to their stories and praying with them. I like to hear their struggles because it makes me feel more comfortable because as a group together we just don't judge each other. It's amazing! 

In our bible study one of the things we talked about that really hit home for me was this: Love is dying to yourself and also love is taking enormous risks. Love is a powerful thing. This can be applied in my life in so many different ways, but I can think of a few people in particular where I need to take enormous risks and die to myself in order to love them. That's a hard thing to do, but only by the grace and mercy of God will I be able to even think I can do that. And how on earth can people relate to each other or lean on one another without it?

God's been showing me that I need to trust him. After the whole Morocco situation and being let down over it, I just figured... oh well, I guess I just have to settle down in Las Vegas. But recently through older couples and my church family I've had open eyes to see that there's a WHOLE WORLD out there! And I don't have to stay in my comfort zone here in Vegas. I think that for the time being he wants me here. Mostly because I think it'd be too much picking up and just leaving. I also have commitments to the youth group that I really don't want to let down. So I've decided I'm going to take baby steps. I'm saving up my money and I'm going to get an apartment. Along with the new place I'm getting a kitty of my own. Maybe even TWO! We'll see. 

But I truly feel much better tonight about my life and what God has in store. I just wish this feeling would stick around more!!!!

All good things must come to an end

We're in the airport about to catch our red-eye back to Vegas. I'm not ready for vacation to be over. And I have less than 24 hours to switch from vacation mode back to work mode. 

So what have I learned most about being in Hawaii, friendship can be hard!! Tolerance can be hard, and holding your tongue is EXTRA hard. 

But whatever... I'm totally over all of it. We went to the Punchbowl today, it's where all the WWII veterans are buried. It was so awesome to see. They created a great memorial for those people. 

I'm going to miss the clouds! They were so fluffy and close to the ground! I'm going to miss the NICE people!!! Who tell you "Aloha" every time you see them. I'm going to miss actually being able to relax! I'll miss the sea turtles and the beautiful sunsets. I'll miss the delicious shaved ice!! And the amazing jaw-dropping mountains covered in grass and trees. But back to Vegas we go whether I like it or not.

And so it continues

We went snorkeling again today! I saw an eel!!! It was scary and looked like it wanted to hurt me so I swam away. No turtles this time, but it was still great nonetheless!!! Snorkeling really is great! I usually only see the ocean as a whole, I never get to explore the underworld! It's fantastic! 

Last night we took a trip to the Polynesian Culture Center where we were able to observe and participate in different Polynesian cultures! It was really fun! I learned about different rituals they partake in, different dances, games, and songs they have. We also went to a luau which was so much fun! There was delicious food amongst the gross raw fish that I stayed away from... bleh! Then we were able to watch a show with the different dances of 6 tribes! At the end were the fire twirlers which was just absolutely amazing! 

This place has a lot of cats! I'd take one home if I could. :( OOO! And Mongoose! They're adorable little creatures. Tonight I sat and watched the sunset on the rocks where the water was crashing. That is until the tide started to come in and the wave almost crashed into me... haha But it was still great. 

Still working on the tan. My tummy refuses to tan, but I will succeed! It's taken me till about yesterday afternoon to actually RELAX!!! Now I have to leave soon and switch back to normal right away. We'll see how that goes. 

OK LOST TIME!!!! YESSSSS I'm excited to watch since I've driven around the island, I want to see if I recognize anything! yippy!!

Hawaii Day 4!

Lots of fun things have happened! yippy! 

Yesterday we went snorkeling where we saw really cool fish AND a sea turtle!!! It was so cool! Except for the part where I swallowed a mouthful of sea water. bleh... We went to this shindig at the place we're staying had a Mai Tie party where we got to have a mini luau right here! And we were able to watch the dudes climb up a palm tree which was pretty cool. And of course... worked on getting more tan! yay! We ended the night on the beach with our feet in the ocean, the sounds of waves in our ears, and the bright stars above. *sigh* Absolutely blissful. 

Today we spent the day driving around the island. It's BEAUTIFUL! It's moments like this where I just can't believe how beautiful God made this place for us to enjoy and how thankful I am to have a break from the normal desert and change into this paradise! Pictures can't describe how awesome it was. Word can't describe how beautiful it was. We were also able to find the LOST fuselage.... only, it was covered with a tarp. :( BUT at least I was able to see it. We also stopped at this cliff place where the waves were crazy and slamming into the rocks. It was totally dangerous to climb down and get closer, so of course I had to. It was amazing; crashing waves are probably one of the coolest things to just sit and watch. I could have stayed there all day. But alas, I could not. So we kept driving and were suppose to go snorkeling in this really neat place and just or luck it was CLOSED on Tuesday. poop. In the morning we went to the Dole Plantation which was so much fun!!! We had a tour of where they grow the produce, and then got to roam around the gardens with the amazing flowers they have here. They're gorgeous!! 

That's all for now, tomorrow should be fun. We're going to the Polynesian Culture Center for the BIG luau!