I've been having a hard time this past week. Mostly the normal stuff I've been struggling with.... what does God want me to do in my life and where. But I'm starting to see the light. It's a good feeling being able to come back to God and actually have that relationship with him that I've been missing for a while now.
Tonight we had our summer bible study on Spiritual Mothering, basically mentoring. I love the women in our church because I can hang out with a group of ladies older than myself and be accepted. They don't make me feel awkward for being young and single when they are all married with children. I just love listening to their stories and praying with them. I like to hear their struggles because it makes me feel more comfortable because as a group together we just don't judge each other. It's amazing!
In our bible study one of the things we talked about that really hit home for me was this: Love is dying to yourself and also love is taking enormous risks. Love is a powerful thing. This can be applied in my life in so many different ways, but I can think of a few people in particular where I need to take enormous risks and die to myself in order to love them. That's a hard thing to do, but only by the grace and mercy of God will I be able to even think I can do that. And how on earth can people relate to each other or lean on one another without it?
God's been showing me that I need to trust him. After the whole Morocco situation and being let down over it, I just figured... oh well, I guess I just have to settle down in Las Vegas. But recently through older couples and my church family I've had open eyes to see that there's a WHOLE WORLD out there! And I don't have to stay in my comfort zone here in Vegas. I think that for the time being he wants me here. Mostly because I think it'd be too much picking up and just leaving. I also have commitments to the youth group that I really don't want to let down. So I've decided I'm going to take baby steps. I'm saving up my money and I'm going to get an apartment. Along with the new place I'm getting a kitty of my own. Maybe even TWO! We'll see.
But I truly feel much better tonight about my life and what God has in store. I just wish this feeling would stick around more!!!!
2 comments:
I need to get myself to that study. You still going to Wed night?
I'm glad you're going to be here!!! But, I get that new places are good too.
I feel like I haven't talked to you in a while! So yay for your blog! Good to hear whats going on in your life!
Well, Mellisa, I only have a few things to say. I am A director of a 1/2 way house in Lubbock Texas called The Remnant. I was searching the internet for some good study ideas about dying to yourself and here I am. I am not a stranger to the feeling of confusion and unsurity in life. But, I am also not a stranger to the power of God to give me the understanding I need to be exactly where I need to be and do exactly what God has for me. I have a saying I tell people when they are struggling with their present, You can look at your past, just dont stare at it. I believe that God is telling me that you struggle with past mistakes, and that you problem isn't finding your place in the present, but removing yourself from your past. If we are truly pressing forward to the goal to win the prize through Christ Jesus, it assumes that we have made every effort to cut the chains that have held us in bondage to the very things that take from us the peace Jesus says we can have that we can't even understand, the joy of his salvation, and the unfathomable love that is given no matter your faults, mistakes, victories, triumphs, or failures. There are to things that hold back a human being more than anything else. Insecurity and fear. You must ask yourself today what you are afraid of. Why are you so insecure that faith seems always to be a belief but hardly ever an action.
WE ENSLAVE OURSELVES THROUGH FEAR, JESUS SAVES US FROM OURSELVES THROUGH LOVE.
I challenge you today to seek the depths of how your Lord loves you and how that love burns away all fear and all question, all confusion, and all doubt.
Quit swimming in the sea of forgetfullness and walk on water. Love you in Jesus.
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